SMS Randomness

One thing that I have picked up here is the ability to SMS rather quickly and do it much more often than actually calling someone in country. But it has also led to a collection of rather odd and often very funny text messages I have received and/or sent. Since I need to wipe my phone of messages every so often and don’t want to lose them all entirely, I will put some of my favorites up on here whenever I need to delete them. No names will be attached, but enjoy, cause most of them have sure made me laugh:

“Do you know what hand women wear their wedding ring on?”
“They can’t get my last name right to save their lives.”
“We’re hazing kids right now cuz they won’t go to sleep.”
“Yeah, what can I say, I’m a player.”
“Are you keeping an eye on our son? He sent me a text saying he wasn’t behaving himself at prolisoc:) I hope you are enjoying prolisoc! Have some fun too pops!”
"We've had guest that won't leave since 4. They keep making me drink even though I just want to sleep. I'm gong on 90 minutes of sleep last night. If I get drunk (which I'm not) I'm going to put my face in the pashtet."
"Platscart 16 hours. *&^* Yeah, let's do this, It's hot as HELL in here."
"Someone has told them that when Americans drink alcohol we become instant drunks. Hey I'm in Lviv now, come down to the station, you have 4 mins, go."
"Ok, cool. btw, i have your shampoo! We'll have to trade dishes for shampoo."
"Mel gibson is in rehab after a drunk driving accident!"
"I'm going to blow my town up"
"When are you going to do this? wait, am i just going to be like the prof. and get shot?"
"If a girl asked me what my favorite boy and girl ukr names are, should I consider that a pick-up line?"
"You ever see a cate eat a beetle? it's quite entertaining"
"I'm visiting my training hf, last night we polished off 2 litres. Me my host dad and his neighbor. 2nd litre was samahon. Then we went to the bar where I almost fought a Russian about foreign policy. Today is my host baba's birthday, been drinking samahon for 2 hours but not drunk."
"Well, the pump isn't far from the place so it should be ok. yeah, it's ghetto. I can't wait to live there"
"I'm watching annie lorak sing live! So kickass!!"
"X flipped out last night, we don't know where he is."
"Drinking...lots of drinking."
"There you go. Tell her you'll teach her some slang, tonight, alone, with some drinks , in your room..."
"I can't wait to get back to america and try to give candy for change at a store."
"I just got toilet paper for change, which I need anyway for my apartment"
"Alright, finally into my own place. But still eating dinner at my host fams:) I have 0 food in my place. Need to fix that tomorrow. Have a good night."
"We've got a new teacher and she's smoking hot. can't wait until I get to know her"
"You can swear at me all you want if you next message is about that hot girl!"
"Suicide? Hardly, you'd take from Jeremy the award for MBP - Most Ballenest Playa. To quote Nelly."
"I think I'm gonna turn into Twig soon. I'm in the Romanian consulate and I'm waiting for 3 hours now for them to finally give me back my passport and visa. I'm so mad!"
"Someone came and took the water pump from my apartment building!"
"Found water. had to cross an obstacle course tog et it, but it's there."